Saturday, March 22, 2008

Well it's finally Easter Weekend

The crisis of last week are behind me. The AGM and related events went off with issues only known to me, which is how I like it.

I walked in the door Wednesday night at 10pm shaking from mental and physical exhaustion. I changed out of my fancy AGM clothes and into slum clothes and my son met me in the kitchen with a hot cup of herbal blueberry tea. I love my son.

Thursday I had a conflict of timing. Same said son (I only have one) was going to meet me after his midnight shift to unload the car of all the AGM related stuff, I just knew I couldn't face the task alone. But I also had an 8 am chiropractic appointment that I knew would also help me feel better. I cancelled the appointment as I couldn't reach my son to tell him I'd be later than I said. And after he'd worked all night, I wasn't going to leave him standing outside the office cursing.

I also had and 8:30 am appointment with someone who was going to help with the workload at the office now I was down a staff person. A significant priority if I say so myself.

So there was no coming in late Thursday morning.

So I was there as much as I could be, and then someone was going to drop by and pick something up from me in the afternoon, so I hung out. Right until 4:30 and they were a no show. I can't describe the absolute fatigue and fury I felt.

So I dragged myself out on the errands I needed to do before the long weekend hit and the stores closed, and bought grocery store fried chicken for dinner, complete with taters. I just wanted food.

What I didn't realize until later, in my exhausted stupor, I'd forgotten all my supplements, and I was forgetting to eat. The trail mixed I'd picked up to get me through the insanity that was Wednesday, was masking my hunger. I'd get a twinge and then I'd grab a handful of nuts and raisins. Twinge gone. By the end of the day, I was so hungry, prepared food was the only answer, as cooking would have been dangerous in my state.

I got up Good Friday and resumed my routine of oatmeal for breakfast and a nice egg salad wrap for lunch. Back on track. Or so I thought. I made home made macaroni and cheese for the kids, and was going to make myself something else. Six hours later I'm trying to sleep and my tummy is rubbling big time. I'd forgotten to eat dinner!!! So I had some peanut butter and went to sleep.

It's going to be a crazy couple of weeks and I've got to put some planning into my food to ensure I don't lose focus.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

The day after

Well yesterday was St. Patrick's Day, and I didn't drink any green beer or such.

Now to get through Easter intact. It's not too hard since I can't eat chocolate, but I am an emotional eater, so I pout when everyone else is eating chocolate and I can't, so I'll go find something equally unhealthy just to join in the fun.

I have to really watch myself this week. It's a case of knowing myself well.

I have been working really hard to establish a good work life balance, and with no staff, that's gone out the window. Yes it's a crisis and we are working to a resolution, but with our Annual General Meeting on Wednesday, a press conference to launch an initiative as well as a meeting with all our funded agencies it's taking a lot lot prep work and I'm strung out.

By the time Good Friday hits I'll have had one day off in 17. Certainly not the work life balance I've been hoping for.

But once we get through this week, the decisions we are making, will come into play and things should settle down.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Stress defined

Working in a workplace with only yourself and another staff
Other staff gets sick

The week coming is the 10th Anniversary of the United Way's Annual General meeting, a dinner for 50, a meeting with all the agencies that are funded by the United Way, for which none of the photocopying has been done.

Oh it's going to be a long week.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


See, you start all go go go go and then you get slowing down and the whole motivation wanes as you go from excited about a new life, to actually having to do the fricken work to make it happen.

So the bloom is off the rose and this is now work.


Someone pass me the "easy button".

When I said I wanted to create balance in my life, make positive changes for my health, I wanted to fit that in and around my current lifestyle.

But noooo apparently my lifestyle is part of the problem [sense the sarcasm in this post - it's there].

So when Robin says slow down, what she really means is "slow down" rather than "wow you work really hard". And when she says make time to sort out your food so you can eat more regularly and healthier, she doesn't mean "grab leftovers and an apple when you head out the door in the morning".

If I'd known this was going to be work......

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

On the rack

....and no it's not a rack of ribs!

Today we focused on learning how to stretch out. I found after last week's exercises, I was really restless and just not happy in my own skin. So we focused on a few Yoga stretches, which really helped loosen things up.

I feel better already!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Home, home at last

We had one of those winter storms yesterday and what a drive home. Lots of even breathing to avoid an adrenalin dump.

Absolutely exhausted when I got home, but the kids were a little demanding having missed me big time, and it was nice to be nurturing.

Spent Sunday doing the laundry and that was about it.

The kid's have depleted the groceries big time so I need to make a grocery run tomorrow.

Right now I'm starving, again. We ordered pizza for the kids, but the really nice Mandarin Salad and wanted that again, but "it's not longer a part of our menu" so garden salad it was. Six chicken wings for protein...or not, they put hot sauce on them, and I can't eat hot.

So a huge bowl of salad, and nothing much else has me digging around for some more food.

Friday, March 7, 2008

To sleep, perchance to dream?

The day dawns bright as the sun breaks over the horizon, bouncing from condo tower to condo tower, here along the lakeshore in Toronto.

While the novelty of the hotel room is fun, I can never sleep the first night, it's all too strange. No warm fuzzy bodies purring me to sleep. Clunking neighbours and corridor conversations, all conspire to jolt me awake every hour or two.

But sheer exhaustion will ensure I sleep tonight.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Lactose Intolerant Kosher Jew

Back in 2003 I went to a conference in Toronto for 4 days.

A friend and colleague that came with me was vegetarian. On the first day there we met a new friend who was lactose intolerant (allergy to all dairy).

It was interesting to see how the hotel handled the allergies. My vegetarian friend got a huge bowl of gross looking pasta that after only a few bites he couldn't eat anymore. At the time I wasn't not lactose intolerant so I just ate what everyone else was eating. Fairly heavy conference food.

Our lactose intolerant friend got grilled things, with fresh fruit for dessert. At one point she stepped out for a meeting over lunch, and while we waited over an hour for her to return, we couldn't help ourselves and we ate her fresh fruit plate. She wasn't overly impressed with us, but laughed all the same.

On the second last lunch they fed us finger food so we could network. Yeah right, since when is salad finger food, so we pulled up come carpet and sat on the floor to eat. A gentleman joined us and he had a tray wrapped in clear plastic. Naturally we asked him about his food, after introducing the vegetarian and the lactose intolerant among us.

Turns out this was a Kosher tray, he was Jewish.

Naturally we inquired and asked lots of questions, having never encountered 'Kosher' food before in a public setting.

At the end of the lunch we decided the healthiest way of eating at conferences, was to be a lactose intolerant Kosher Jew. You don't get over sauced, bulk cooked cheap food. You get grilled meats, baked potatoes and tons of fresh veggies and the desire of all hotel stays, fresh fruit.

Road trip

Eating right on the road is a challenge, especially when it's storming out. But leaving lots of time, and having 'finger food' - trail mix, is a good compromise.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008


Tomorrow I'm suppose to go to Toronto, get my hair done, do some shopping, you know, leisure day of being a woman,...but then there's

The coffeemaker is not working...

The worse part about listening to your body, is that when you listen, it really can yell at you. I want to go back to the days when I refused to listen until it mutinied and I fell down.

Ok not really, but making lifestyle adjustments is work.

Yesterday I helped run a workshop. I was a presenter as well as a the person in charge of coffee...the coffeemaker is not working...we had over 50 people at the workshop (I ended up standing most of the day as a result)...the coffeemaker is not working...which ran from 9:30-3:00...the coffeemaker is not working...

I had to move the coffeemaker eventually and we didn't get coffee on until the first break...the coffeemaker is not working...ok, minor panic, but still a bit more stress than I needed.

I'd gotten up an hour early so I could get the last minute photocopying done, and eat breakfast. Is it really de-stressing to have to lose sleep so you can eat breakfast?

I know Robin, it is.

I brought half a dozen boiled eggs with me and a cucumber and some salad. Everyone else was having sandwiches and with my food allergies I can't do store bought bread. I'd hope to grab an egg or two at morning coffee break but ...the coffeemaker is not working...

I managed to eat lunch, in between making more and more coffee, when you can only make 8 cups at a time....

I tell you by the time 2:30 rolled around I was beat, but certainly not done.

An event meeting at 4:30, McD's for the kids, simply because there was no time and they needed to eat, bowl of oatmeal for yours truly and out the door to take son to the Employment Trade Show.

I finally was able to take my shoes off at 7:00 pm.

Normally on a day like that I could dig deep and count on the chemical rush to get me through the day. But I'm not suppose to do that anymore. I'm suppose to fuel properly, pace myself and take it one step at a time.

That takes co-ordination and work, not laziness and drive.

It's a whole new way of living, and it's taking some learning.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

It's the weekend

In some ways this is good -> relaxing, downtime, no deadlines
In other ways this is risky -> no structure, kids munch all day long, get lazy

The way I get around this is to only have junk food I can't eat in the house, and I set goals for what needs to get done around the house.

The workouts must be doing something because I got totally restless at one point and was trying to stretch in all sorts of weird directions. You know you're doing something when you start hunting for a medieval 'rack' to pull you apart.

Saturday was quiet and a do-nothing day. Today is get organized, laundry, clean and finish a presentation that I need to print off for a workshop for Monday. Not too stressful, just busy.

The biggest challenge on the weekend is to eat every 3 hours or so.

I did boil up a dozen eggs so I can grab them quick and make some egg salad wraps *yummy* for lunch. The key here is to label them so the kid's don't go cooking and get messed up with boiled eggs!!